


Belief

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Season/Series 01, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-13
Updated: 2008-03-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 01:02:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12070548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: A 'what if' story inspired by a song by Gavin DeGraw. What if Justin knew how to warm a baby bottle?





	Belief

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

**_Belief…makes things real…makes things feel…feel alright.  
Belief…makes things true…things like you…you and I._ **

**__**There’s a man in my bed.

No surprise there. Finding a man in my bed has been commonplace for at least 15 years. What makes it stand out is the fact that this particular guy has been there before; several times before. Even stranger; he’s lying next to my son.

Michael stopped over early this morning to drop off a jacket I left at his mother’s. I heard the elevator, flew out of bed and had the loft door open before he could pound on it. Stepping out on the landing, I shushed him.

Before I could think of the ramifications of the words, I blurted out, “They’re still in there sleeping.”

He raised one eyebrow and looked at me with an intrigued grin, “Who?”

“Gus…um,” I swallowed.

_Fuck! I did say’ they’re’._

“and Justin.”

Michael’s smile widened further and he let out a quick huff. Oddly enough, he didn’t say anything…he didn’t have to.

I attempted to justify my current situation. “He babysat for me last night, remember? The Leather Ball? Where the fuck were you?”

“I told you, David’s son, Hank, is in town. He’s trying to impress the kid by taking him to just about every event Pittsburgh has to offer but sadly the Leather Ball wasn’t one of them.”

“So how long is he here for?”

“He leaves tomorrow afternoon…thankfully.”

Now it was my turn to laugh. “Not so great being the evil step-mother?”

Michael looked disgusted and rolled his eyes. “The kid hates me.”

“Has he told you that?”

“No, not in so many words, but he may as well have.”

“Come here,” I pulled Mikey in for quick kiss, “Who cares. You’re not fucking him, you’re fucking his father. Why, remains one of life’s great mysteries.”

He shoved me away but the grin was still there.

“You should talk about great mysteries, Brian.”

I looked at him innocently.

“Mr. I don’t do repeats. How many months have you been fucking Justin now?”

“He’s babysitting.” I emphasized the last word.

“Ah-ha.” He wasn’t convinced. “Well, when Gus goes home, I’m sure you’ll have a unique way of tipping him. When might that be, by the way?”

“Lindsay’s scheduled to get back late this afternoon.”

“She and Mel really split, huh?”

“Yup. That Mel,” I shook my head, “just can’t keep her dick in her pants.”

“Yeah,” he snickered and looked at me knowingly. “Lindsay seems to be attracted to those types. Here’s your jacket. You really should grow out of that childish habit of dropping your clothes all over town.”

He swiveled on his heel to leave and then hesitated at the top of the stairs, “Oh,” he turned back and looked at me, serious now. “Ma told me about your dad and the cancer…I’m sorry.”

“It’s Jack, Michael. Don’t be sorry.”

“Still…he’s your dad.”

“Yeah.” I dismissed him with a wave of my hand but he didn’t go. Michael Novotny annoying habit number 347.

“If you need anything…or just to talk…you know…”

I cut him off. “I know, Michael. Thanks, I’m fine. Now go.”

He smiled, rose up on his toes and kissed me. “Bye, dad.”

“Bye, mom,” I called out as he disappeared down the stairs. I stepped into the loft and slid the door back as quietly as possible. Tiptoeing up the steps to my bedroom I paused in the doorway to take in the sight.

Justin was on his left side, naked. His flesh was the color of cream against my coffee brown sheets. His chest and part of one leg was exposed. He had his left arm tucked under the pillow and his right extended…fingertips resting on my son’s back so as to monitor its steady rise and fall.

Gus had kicked off his blanket but that contraption Lindsay left for him to sleep in exposed little more than his head. It was turned toward Justin now and a faint smile played on his lips.

_I understand Sonny boy; God damn it, how well I understand. Waking up to that makes me smile too._

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Yesterday was one of those days I would prefer to simply wipe from my memory. Gus was fussy and crying for most of it until he shit through three diapers. In addition, my dad came over with his grand announcement, the Leather Ball had been a bust, and to top it off I came home early to get my ass reamed by none other than Melanie Marcus.

I could hear her ranting the minute the elevator door opened. While I wasn’t able to make out complete sentences, her command of adjectives - Unbelievable! Selfish! Irresponsible! Egocentric! - rang out loud and clear. I assumed she wasn’t describing Justin when I let myself in and demanded, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

That was her invitation to come at me like a wildcat. “I came back from Miami early and there’s a message on my voice mail from Lindsay saying she left Gus here with you. So I came over to check on him, and it’s a good god damn thing I did! Pawning him off on anyone so you can go to a fucking Leather Ball!”

She was clearly pissed that I wasn’t the one attending to him round the clock, but he was with Justin, for Christ's sake, so I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. It’s not like I had left him with…Ted.

“Hey, Justin’s not anyone.” I motioned to him as he attempted to assure Melanie.

“I love Gus.”

Her mood changed instantly when she turned to him. That seems to be the effect he has on everyone, but still…what a fucking cunt! “Baby, I know you do, honey. This isn’t about you. Here take him.” Handing Gus to Justin she turned back to me, and the fire breathing dragon returned as well, “This is about you and what an irresponsible shit you are.”

“Listen, I went out for a couple of hours.”

“Yeah well, you shouldn’t have been out at all because, you see, the thing about parenthood is, you don’t get anonymous sex breaks twice a day. Now give me your car keys.”

_My keys?_ “Ah…excuse me?”

“I said, give me your car keys so I can go get the baby seat out of the back of your jeep. I’m taking Gus home.”

At this point she took Gus back from Justin, and thoughts of what the next 18 years of my life was going to be like flooded through my brain. It’s hard enough raising a kid with two parents living in the same house. Gus was going to be dealing with Lindsay and me in two different places forever, and for some misguided reason, this bitch felt she had the right to call the shots. I felt it was time to exert some control.

“No, you’re not. This is his home, at least for this weekend.”

“Sorry, your privileges have been revoked.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what my privileges are. I’m his father.” And then I went for the jugular, “Who are you?”

She was clearly taken aback by the question and actually took a second to think before she spoke.

“I may be no one but at least I love him enough to know that his needs come before mine, which is more than can be said for you.”

Justin had been watching this miserable play from the kitchen and at this point I turned to look at him. I was about to say, ‘Fine, just take him and go,’ and shoo Justin out the door behind her. I don’t need any of this shit in my life. But something in that desperate look must have told him that I did.

****_Tonight, you arrested my mind, when you came to my defense  
With a knife in the shape of your mouth, in the form of your body  
With the wrath of a god…Oh, you stood by me…belief._

“STOP IT!” His yell startled us both into silence, but Gus let out a wail.

“Just listen to the two of you!” He stepped between us and turned to me. Placing his palm on my chest he pushed me back. His face was inches from mine when he spoke.

“Brian, that last remark was completely uncalled for. Melanie is his mother and you know it. Do not stoop to that tactic.”

_What the fuck? Now they were both reprimanding me…in my own home…and he’s barely older than my kid._

I caught a glimpse of the self-satisfied smirk on Melanie’s face as he turned to look at her. Holding his arms out in a gesture that looked like surrender, he calmly stated, “Melanie, you know I respect you and recognize that you are every bit as much of a mother to Gus as Lindsay is, right?”

She nodded and smiled, “Yes, I do, Justin. Thank you.”

He beckoned for her to hand him my son and having completely won her over, she did not hesitate to do so. He took Gus, planted a quick peck his cheek, turned, and placed him in my arms. Where this was going I had no idea, but I already knew from the look in his eyes I would have mortgaged the loft to buy tickets.

“Don’t thank me yet, I’m not through.”

He was in her face now and she appeared more than a little surprised. “While Brian’s remark was uncalled for, yours was just plain ignorant. Brian is Gus’s father, and he’s well aware of the fact that his son’s needs come before his. Why is it that you only seem to recognize that when it comes to his wallet?”

“Justin,” she interrupted, “don’t…you’re not part of this…you don’t know him like I do.”

“You’re right, I don’t and I hope I never do. I don’t know what Brian did to you in the past to turn you against him, but that’s not my concern.” He looked away from her and glanced over at Gus and me. “My concern is the future.”

Turning back to her he went on. “You need to know Brian didn’t pawn Gus off on me. He’s been with him non-stop since yesterday morning. He took the day off work which required rescheduling a considerable number of meetings at a moment’s notice. He also sat up with him half the night. In case you haven’t noticed, your son has colic. I was happy to give Brian a break for a few hours. There was nothing irresponsible about him letting me do that. I know how to care for an infant and like I said before, I love Gus. How many babysitters have you and Lindsay left him with that can honestly say that?”

I’ve never been able to say these words, much less write them so I am going to savor them: Melanie Marcus was speechless. Justin, however, was not.

“The only thing that’s wrong about this entire fiasco is the fact that you felt you had to come over here in the first place. You don’t need to check up on Gus when he’s here anymore than Brian does when he’s with you or Lindsay. And as far as Brian’s personal life goes, fix your own house before you start tearing down someone else’s.”

**_Oh, you stood by me...and I’ll stand by my belief._ **

If I were a compassionate person I might have actually felt a little sorry for her in that instant. But I’m not and she’s…well she’s Melanie. Justin continued to stand there, hands on his hips facing the door even after she had turned in a huff and left the loft. Had I not been holding Gus, I would have knelt down and sucked him off right then and there.

I wasn’t quite sure how to break the silence. I had never met this Justin Taylor, but he was doing familiar things to me. I was now in the awkward and embarrassing position of holding my infant son while sporting a hard-on.

Justin brought his hands to his face, fingertips covering his mouth as he turned to me. “Sorry,” he mumbled through them.

“For what?” I asked, incredulously.

“I think I just made matters worse. And she was right, it’s really not my place…”

“Fuck that, Justin,” I cut him off and extended my free arm out to pull him to me. “You were brilliant.” I kissed the top of his head while Gus reached out and placed two fingers in his ear. “Thank you.”

It was all getting to be a bit much, and the last thing I wanted to do was dissect what just went on here. “Think you can handle this colicky kid for a few more minutes while I take a shower? The hottest thing at the Leather Ball tonight was the Irish coffee some asshole at the bar spilled on my shirt.”

“Sure,” he smiled as he reached out to take him.

The hot shower was a welcome respite after everything else that had just happened. It gave me a few minutes’ peace and I emerged somewhat rejuvenated to find Gus fast asleep in the middle of my bed and Justin sitting next to him with a complacent grin on his face.

“You really do know how to take care of an infant, don’t you?”

“Told ya so.”

“Now that he’s asleep, do you think you could take care of this too?” I let my towel drop and pulled him up to a standing position.

“Brian…,” he sounded distracted, ‘with Gus here?”

“Well not right here, Justin, although it doesn’t look to me like he’d mind. However, that would be a little creepy even for me. He can’t roll off, can he?”

“No, he’s not going anywhere.”

I snaked my hand under the waistband of his thin gray sweats and gave his ass a squeeze. “Neither are you.” My mouth was on his muffling his response. Something about staying the night.

“Hell, yes, you’re staying the night,” I told him when we broke our kiss. “This time you get to do the 2AM feeding. But right now, I’m the hungry one, and I don’t think Gus would mind if I ate your ass on the dining room table.”

“Fuck,” was his creative reply.

“That too,” I confirmed.

I was pushing down his sweats as he was pulling off his shirt. Clothing dispensed with, I grabbed the lube and a condom from the nightstand and hauled him down the stairs. As comfortable as I am performing the act, I’m the exact opposite at describing it… especially with Justin.

While it hasn’t been stated, we’ve both known for some time now that he’s not just another trick. What the fuck he is, besides a horny, confused, wanton teenager, I’ve been unable to quantify. When I think too much or, like this, write about it, I feel like some sick old bastard. I wonder, Have I turned into the kind of guy I despised when I was his age sneaking into Babylon?

But then, when I saw him naked, bent over the dining room table, legs spread, white knuckles clinging to its glass edges and his dick bobbing, hard, just below its surface, I didn’t care. I had never taken him like that before and I knew he was excited and a little nervous. Up until this point, we had had sex in my bed, on my chaise, in the backroom of Babylon, and in Suite 314 at the Terrace Hotel in Chelsea. Fuck, why do I remember things like this? At least I can no longer recall all of the places he’s given me countless blow jobs.

When I placed my hands on his shoulders, my dick made its first contact with his ass, and he jumped a little. I began to massage his back and bent down so my lips were close to his ear.

“Relax, this is going to be great.”

“I know…I’m just anxious, I guess.”

“Keep talking. Tell me what you want.”

I was kissing down his spine and watching the goose bumps rise on his back while he was writhing and moaning.

“Brian…oh god…you know what I want.”

“No, tell me.”

“I want you…inside of me…I want you to fuck me.”

“Mmm, be patient, little boy. Good things come to those who wait.”

I stopped kissing when I got to the small of his back and started licking. Lower and lower. I knelt then and spread his cheeks, circling his hole with my tongue.

“Like that?”

“Yes,” he moaned, “of course I do.”

“Then keep talking.”

Proof he was much more than a trick. That’s something I would have never asked for from any of them. But listening to Justin beg, plead, and tell me what he wanted was as titillating to me as three other men worshiping my body simultaneously.

“When I masturbate,” he gasped, “I think about you doing this to me, Brian.”

“Doing what?” I teased. I was still circling, applying more pressure and getting closer to his opening.

“Rimming me...eating me”

“Go on,” I said.

“Put your tongue in me…please”

I greedily complied, probing him. First with just the tip; in and out, in and out; lapping and nipping just a little.

“Oh Jesus, give me more…deeper.”

I smiled and extended my tongue into him as far as I could. Tasting him, smelling him, realizing I have not done this with anyone else since well before Gus was born.

_Gus…Gus…_

I pulled out quickly and shot a glance up to the bed. Justin gasped, “What? Don’t stop!”

Gus hadn’t moved and was still sleeping blissfully. The situation seemed almost surreal; strange yet so right. Surely all new parents must deal with this at one time or another. Yet for some reason, I couldn’t imagine having sex with anyone else while Gus slumbered so nearby.

“It’s okay,” I reassured him, “keep talking.”

I replaced my tongue in his willing orifice and reached my hand through his legs to lightly graze his cock.

“Feels so good, Brian, feels so good. You can do anything to me. I trust you.”

_I trust you too, Justin. You’ve proven to me that I can._

My free hand was fumbling for the lube now. My other hand had left his cock and was attempting to steady his bucking hips. I didn’t want him to come until I was inside.

“Oh yeah…open me up,” he pleaded.

I found the bottle and lubricated my fingers generously. I stayed on my knees as I wanted this vantage point as I inserted first one and then two into his perfect asshole. He was so wet. My saliva mixed with the lube dripped from him and trailed down his scrotum while his pre-cum leaked from his dick and dripped onto my leg.

“That’s it…right there…yeah…again…Jesus!...I’m ready, Brian…fuck me…fuck me now.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” I warned him, ‘shut-up or I’m gonna shoot before I get this god damn thing on.”

My hands were actually shaking as he giggled, and I fumbled with the condom wrapper. What the fuck? I felt like I was fifteen again and so did my dick. Once it was properly outfitted I stood and rubbed up and down his crack. “Ready?”

“Oh god, yes.”

The head of my cock slipped in easily, and before I could even consider pushing further he was thrusting his body back at me. Justin had taken control of this evening nearly an hour ago, and I saw no reason to steal it from him now. He owned this fuck, and tonight he owned me. I simply held his hips as he pumped his body against mine.

“Not…gonna…last,” he grunted out between thrusts.

“No…problem,” I reassured him seconds before he cried out. His ass rhythmically contracted around me while my hand filled with his hot cum. Once I could move inside of him again, I felt my own orgasm beginning to build. My legs shook as my balls drew up, yet I still wasn’t there until he whispered, “Come for me, Brian.”

Then I performed like a trained seal.

“Jesus, Justin…Fuck!” I gasped as waves of pleasure coursed through me over and over again. I had both hands firmly planted on the table now and his were grasping my wrists.  
Looking down at him this visual metaphor both excited and terrified me. _Yes, Justin, you have a mysterious hold on me. I can’t deny it. But where are we going?_ Once I caught my breath, I slumped on top of him and gingerly withdrew my dick. He whimpered a bit and squirmed beneath me.

I stood up, which allowed him to do the same. While I removed the condom, he turned to look at me. “Was it worth being anxious for?” I asked, disposing of the rubber.

“Oh yeah,” he said with a smile, “and let me tell you, I’m really becoming fond of your furniture.”

“Well, you know, you get what you pay for.”

We were headed back up to the bedroom and we must have looked a sight standing naked at the foot of the bed gazing down at a sleeping Gus.

“Does that hold true for me too?” he asked.

“Hell, yes, it does,” I glanced over at him to see him looking up earnestly, “and considering what you’ve cost me, you have a lot to live up to.”

“How am I doing?”

“Your stock just rose significantly.”

His face broke into a wide grin, “So do we go get the port-a-crib or just leave him there?”

I shrugged, “It wouldn’t be the first time three men slept in this bed.”

He shook his head knowingly and we each crawled in to frame Gus with our bodies. I slept well and apparently they did too because they’re still there.

I believe I like it that way.


End file.
